The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. — Joan Baez

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. — Dave Barry

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down. — Robert Benchley

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens. — Robert Benchley

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment — Robert Benchley

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. — Robert Benchley

I can’t bring myself to say, ‘Well, I guess I’ll be toddling along.’ It isn’t that I can’t toddle. It’s just that I can’t guess I’ll toddle. — Robert Benchley

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony. — Robert Benchley

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous. — Robert Benchley

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. — Robert Benchley

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people. — Robert Benchley

As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. — Robert Benchley

There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don’t. — Robert Benchley, Benchley’s Law of Distinction

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having. — Ambrose Bierce

There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know. — Ambrose Bierce

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.) — Ambrose Bierce

An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field. — Niels Bohr

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead. — Erma Bombeck

The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway. — Henry Boye

Basic research is what I am doing when I don’t know what I am doing. — Wernher von Braun

Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are. — Bertolt Brecht

A life of pleasure makes even the strongest mind frivolous at last. — Edward Bulwer-Lytto

The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously. — Nicholas Butler