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In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. — Douglas Adams

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner. — Douglas Adams

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. — Douglas Adams

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. — Douglas Adams

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. — Douglas Adams

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. — Douglas Adams

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which. — Douglas Adams

Seeing ourselves as others see us would probably confirm our worst suspicions about them. — Franklin P. Adams

Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately. — Scott Adams

Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you’re a consultant. — Scott Adams

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? — Scott Adams

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. — Scott Adams

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and try to follow them. — Louisa May Alcott

Committee–a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done. — Fred Allen

It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it. — Henry Allen

Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what’s right. — Isaac Asimov

When someone tells you something defies description, you can be pretty sure he’s going to have a go at it anyway. — Clyde B. Aster

Whenever you fall, pick something up. — Oswald Avery

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